landslidesongbird:

MMFD meme » Three Rae Fantasies
  (2/3 Fantasies) 1x03 ‘Mr.Carrisford Fantasy’

I already know I’m shit, I don’t need reminding.

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For Anon: By Your Side (If You Just Open Your Eyes) (A Finn x Rae fanfic) 

nixvicious:

The hospital room is surprisingly quiet, except for the constant beeping of the heart monitor. Finn doesn’t like hospitals. They remind him of his Nan, and those are more painful memories than he can deal with right now. He still doesn’t know what he’s doing here. Scratch that. He doesn’t know what Rae is doing here. Or why Big G is sittin’ in a chair outside her room looking like he’s been here a while. When Finn came in, he was sitting sideways, legs dangling over the chair’s right arm, and eating one o’ them jello pudding things, two empty containers already littering the floor at his feet. It was kind of awkward to be honest because he’s the last person Finn was ever expecting to see here, with Rae. Then he turned and saw her lying in that be with all those wires and things connected to her, eyes closed, deathly still and something inside him lurched violently. Now he’s sitting at her bedside staring at her. Just staring.

His arms are folded because as soon as he got near her all he could think about was grabbing her and shaking her. Shaking her until she woke up, until she snapped out of whatever this was. It’s freaking him out. Finn doesn’t know how to equate this Rae in front of him with the loud, lively, bossy girl that he knows. With his Rae. He doesn’t know who this is. This pale, silent thing tucked under hospital sheets, wearing a hospital gown, with an iv in her arm, and breathing tubes in her nose and throat. He feels sick, really sick like he might throw up, because this scares him.

He just lost his Nan, he can’t lose Rae too.

He can’t lose her.

He just can’t.

“Rae,” he murmurs shifting forward in the chair till he’s just on the edge of it, “Rae, I…” his throat closes up on him.

God why is it so hard? Finn’s been here before, he knows how these things work, but he’s all copped up about it inside and that makes things so much harder. Finn swallows thickly and curls his fingers into the bit of bed sheet nearest to him. He hasn’t touched her since he came, can’t quite bring himself to yet. He is, after all, having a really hard time making his brain accept this.

“I don’t understand, ah don’t-” he cuts off again and runs a hand agitatedly through his hair, “Wha’ happened to ya?”

Fuck!

His hands are shaking and he has to clench them into tight balls to make it stop. It doesn’t though, just makes his nails dig into his palms.

“I mean-this is-you-you’re in a bloody coma for fuck’s sake! And I’m just- I’m seriously fuckin’ lost here.”

But she doesn’t respond, her eyelids don’t flicker. Nothing.

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dazzledvale:

don’t panic | my mad fat diary

we live in a beautiful world…

butyoushouldbemine:

Author note: Alrighty so here is the last part of the “Potential” series. Here are the links to the first and second parts which are in Rae’s POV but this last one will be in Finns. So Hope you guys enjoy it! So much adoration to ya! Xx

I open and close my hand in front of me,…

My Mad Fat Diary: Most Emotional Scene
      I’ve been to a place this dark once before. Nearly made the biggest mistake. But what was the mistake? Ever cutting myself in the first place or not cutting deep enough?
     “Dear Mum, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry that I fucked everything up. It’s not your fault. I’m not hungry. For the first time in months I don’t care about food. I don’t care about filling the gap by eating or by hurting myself a little. The gap’s too wide now. I tried so hard to be someone everybody could like but no matter how hard I try I’ll always be the same ridiculous, pointless blob. I’ll always hurt people and I’ll always let people down. I’m so sorry, mum. I just hate myself so much more than I could ever love anything. And I guess I did achieve one thing; I wrote the most boring suicide note in the history of the world.”